Stressful day and needing a cuddle? A PDAer recently shared the joy of their 100 pound pup laying on them and it feeling like a very loving portable weighted blanket. Is that how it actually works with Pathological Demand Avoidance and pets? The answer is that it's complicated. During our recent PDA support group meeting, participants explained.
Animals and Co-Regulation
Dogs, cats, bunnies, and other pets offer love and co-regulation. Autistic folks, specifically PDAers, may find the animal makes you feel safe and calms your nervous system. This can make the walks and replenishment of their food and waterbowls feel like more of a choice and less of a demand.
Running or walking your pet can give the gifts of calm, routine, and exercise. If this is not something you are up for, creating a safe yard for playing may be better.
If you are emotionally unwell or are sensitive to sound, a dog's barking can make some PDAers cry and need to cover their ears. Even a "feed me now" cat can be quite irritating.
What about Puppies and Kittens?
Puppies and kittens can be very dysregulating. They are a lot of responsibility. Heavy on the demands. You cannot allow them out of your sight or they'll be eating something dangerous like a power cord, having an accident, or getting into some catastrophe. Our group did not recommend getting a baby animal. On the other hand, if the animal is a year old or older, they are usually potty trained and have grown to their full size and will be easier on you.
Be sure to visit the potential pet a few times. With a dog, play with him or her outside and take a walk. Discover if they are the right pet for you.
Cats and Kittens
It can certainly be a struggle to clean a litter box or replenish food and water. PDAers offered a few tips:
Obtaining fountain that plugs into the wall. Someone found one that attaches it to the sink so you don’t have to clean it .
Purchasing a litter genie. Much like a diaper genie, you don't necessarily have to head outside to your trash with the litter quite as often.
Reptiles and other animals
One PDAer mentioned really enjoying geckos.Their special interests includes plants so creating a beautiful terrarium. This mini greenhouse is fun to watch and has few energy demands. They freshen the water and add food every few days and it feels worth it.
Do you go for it or hold off?
This is absolutely a situation worth giving throughful consideration. We have to weigh the comfort and joy of this potential new member of our family with the demands and frustrations that come with this relationship.
In our neurodivergent home, the cats couldn't stay because of serious cat allergies.The lizards couldn't stay because they later freaked out their "pet mom" who is also my daughter. (Luckily we found amazing homes for everyone). We stuck with the two dogs who play and snuggle, help us get plenty of exercise, and bring lots of joy to our family. They are huskies so they shed A LOT and are very demanding, but we love them madly.
One last consideration is that our own dysregulaton can be catchy for some pets.They may get anxious and destroy big things like couches. But, oftentimes they get more chill as they age. A few PDAers said that they believe that the most difficult animals reward us tenfold with their love and loyalty. I know I feel that way about Luna and Titan, our huskies.
By the way, I found it difficult to find information on PDA and Pets, but did find this one article: Pets & PDA, PDA Society
If you have thoughts on PDA and pets, I'd love to hear from you! Also, consider joining our PDA group, which meetings the second Tuesday evening of every month on Zoom. Yes, you can bring your pet!
If you are an adult PDAer, consider yourself invited. Info and link:
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/88597024863?pwd=Bw5FTrKHXN9dRkfTbFITgIFQznwy9H.1
Meeting ID: 885 9702 4863
Passcode: 521434
